Monday, August 14, 2006

I SWEAR that I am now back from the dead....

I have had good reason to disappear from the blogging planet. Actually I have been out of touch from all planets. A couple of days into my summer vacation the boy and I split up. The past two months we have been living together while he finished up his summer session of school, and while I started my summer session of school. Rough doesn't even skim the surface of explanations for how it has been. Before anyone asks, or draws any conclusions, or starts to boy bash I want to clear a few things up.
There was no cheating, beating, or meanness (aside from a shattered heart or two). Merely a case of him being adult enough to recognize that things have been a bit "off" for a while now, and that it was high time for us to each take the time to take care of ourselves independently. I have a bad habit of becoming way too dependent on my partner, and he tends to "give" too much, enabling me to just "take". It was a dangerous combination. And both of us being in school... Yeah, not possible.
I have had an amazing support group of friends! I have been up and down as to how I was going to afford to stay in school, eat, live, feed my cats... I am still trying to figure out the school tuition part. But I think I have figured out my housing situation.
School is kicking my butt this quarter. On top of the extra life distraction (having my heart ripped into a zillion pieces) this is by far the heaviest course load so far. My head nearly explodes when I think of how much homework I have in a given week. Also- I have had to take a second job so that I can continue to eat.
Yup- things have been SHITTY!
Enough of my whining! I hope that things have been better for all of my knitting blogging friends out there. I have missed you all terribly!
I will post photos of knitting & school work soon.
xoxox

13 comments:

  1. Hurray, Tammy is still here! I keep meaning to call you! Let me know if there is anything I can do. Take care and hang in there!

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  2. I'm thinking about you every day, sweetheart. Take care and know you are loved!

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  3. Oh no! It is hard to be independent when you are going to school. I hope you are able to get the financial part of that worked out. I have been in that heartbreak, gotta learn to be independent again...breaking up is like mourning over someone who died, yet they aren't dead. It does get better over time. Hang in there!

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  4. Oh honey! I am so sad. I know we talked awhile back and it's so tough. I went through a period where I had to pry myself from my partner and learn to do things on my own. It was scary, but in the end, I value my independence more than anything.

    Things will change and you'll be OK. We're here to support you and care for you while the times are tough. Hang in there! XOXO

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  5. It's pretty amazing you can write about something so incredibly personal here! I'm sending you lots of love.

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  6. So good to see you are back in the grove. Writing/blogging always helps me clear my head and get all those not fun things off my mind. I hope you will weather through all your heartache quickly...you're right, our self is the most important thing...take care of you.

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  7. Wow it's super strong of you to open up like that here. You know I admire you so much for all you are accomplishing inside and out... sticking with school and handling everything that is being thrown at you. Don't forget to sit once in a while, take in a deep breath, and just be. I hope we can get together soon... we need to celebrate our barfdays. :)) I love you lady!

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  8. not much to say, but I'm sending good thoughts your way...

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  9. Aaah I wondered where you'd gotten to. So sad to hear your news, but sounds like you have a plan of sorts and are moving through the stuff. big hugs.

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  10. i hope things will only get better (best) for you. :)

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  11. Very admirable to make it work on your own and go to school!

    Did I just hear you roar!?

    Godspeed

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  12. How sad to hear of your breakup and tough times. (I am just now reading your blog post, I am behind the times.) Even though I don't know you personally, you seem like a strong, intelligent (and don't forget creative!) woman who will come out of this turmoil even stronger and wiser. Good luck!

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  13. Hi Tammy - I'm really sorry to hear that! I found your blog as I hadn't seen you on flickr for a while. I hope things work out for you and the flatmate and I really hope you're feeling better about the boy situation.

    xx

    Karen (edie mcredie - flickr)

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